


carry me home

by rubellites



Category: Produce 101 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, HwangMogu - Freeform, I Will Go Down With This Ship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-26
Updated: 2020-06-26
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:20:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24929830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rubellites/pseuds/rubellites
Summary: like drizzle in summer rain, like a jar of broken promises, crumpled papers with colorless hearts inscribed into one's skin, they made homes out of temporary lives.
Relationships: Hwang Yunseong/Koo Jungmo
Kudos: 11





	carry me home

#### a proper way to define what he had back then was a blessing in disguise, or rather, a vicious fate?

either way, yunseong was content all the same. although jungmo's presence alone was something odd, he never complains because deep down he knew that sooner or later he will be the one who wishes that these scenes played out the same throughout his life.

“yunseong, you're acting weird lately”

he lifted his head from the book that he clearly pretending to read, “oh really?” his words dripping with sarcasm but it isn't as if jungmo hasn't accustomed to that kind of attitude.

“yup, also I can see your head buzzing with things, sad things” yunseong's eyes twitched in amusement as he saw jungmo was on his back lying on his bed, both of his feet dangling in the air like a mad child while his eyes trailed across the room, staring right at yunseong's pair.

he's pretty sure jungmo didn't only lose his life, but also half of his age because that man hasn't been acting like a grown-up since day one he lived inside yunseong's flat.

“what, you can read minds too now, mogu? being a ghost must be fun then, you can casually talk to me without me responding to you”

jungmo huffed his rosy cheeks, “rude. I'm just saying that maybe if you have something bugging your mind, you could just share it with me you know”

yunseong smiles a little behind his mind, “what a reassuring word you have there, mogu”

jungmo groans in frustration at his remarks “as for now, i hereby state that attempting to have human decency on you is a waste of time”

the other one nodded, collectively agree with that sentence. he never the person who plays nice with anyone, let alone being a goody-two-shoes. all of his life, yunseong is and always be the one who had masks around people, even his closest ones.

“incorrect. having any human decency, in general, is a waste of time”

“i always question what part of your life that made you so darn gloomy. what happened to you anyway?”

 _you happened,_ yunseong answered silently inside his mind, his heart clenched at the sight of jungmo still absentmindedly playing with his own feet.

all of the sudden, his phone buzzed lightly. yunseong picked the long-forgotten device on his desk, not knowing that jungmo has already stood beside him, looking closely at the screen.

yunseong clicked his tongue in annoyance when he finally realized that jungmo can see right into his phone, “stop peeking at my phone!”

a bright smile adorned jungmo's lips when his eyes caught a word from yunseong's reminder “you're having a birthday party today? let me join you!”

“what the hell, it's not a damn party”

jungmo frowns, “living in the edge I see. keep on cursing like that and death will be soon knocking at your door”

“is that how ghost threatens someone to die? funny” yunseong chuckled. if only jungmo has enough audacity snap yunseong's neck then he swear he would.

“where are you going then? let me tag along!”

yunseong let out a heavy sigh “even if i ask you not to, you will anyway”

* * *

“who's birthday again today?”

“a friend of mine”

 _was_ a really good friend of mine.

“this doesn't look like a place to hold a birthday party or such” jungmo chimed loudly.

“you're not wrong” yunseong mumbles, his orbs keep searching for the very chamber that made his vision filled with deceit. he always hates the feeling he had in his chest whenever he brings himself back here. into the place where nightmares took form as memories.

his footsteps came into a halt in front of a chamber with a number nine carved into the door's wooden surface. yunseong tightens his coat as he made his way inside the hollow room. jungmo's steps trailed close behind him, still unable to comprehend nor remember anything about the place.

_breathe yunseong, breathe._

there in the middle of the vacant place, stood a huge frame with a picture of someone who had been the dearest for all of yunseong's life, surrounded by rows of garland from different, exquisite kind of flowers. a person who smile drips of sunlight and facade more beautiful than the evening stars, and the same person who stood behind him at the very moment.

yunseong turned around and watched with trouble visible in his eyes when a petal flew through jungmo's figure, almost as if the realm was reminding him that it's no use keeping something that wasn't his anymore. he took a long, dreadful breath.

_they were tangled red strings, forgetful minds losing their steps. unconsciously walked too far to come back from the woods. Feet walked on fractioned glass, waiting the time to heal them. But time never once find where they’re hiding._

_and so yunseong had to find the time himself._

“you really didn't remember how you look like, don't you?”

jungmo's expression perplexed, his chest started to feel uneasy when yunseong suddenly lit up the candles on top of the tiny cupcake he bought earlier. yunseong then settled the cupcake in front of jungmo, his eyes glisten as he trying so hard to hold of his heart restful and his voice firm.

“happy birthday, mogu... or should i call you, jungmo” yunseong smiles bitterly. he saw jungmo's eyes widen in utter surprise.

the scars open up again, pain surging every part of yunseong's mind and body, sending shivers right down his spine. he trembles at his own words, but he couldn't care less. he didn't have much time left.

“you asked me earlier this day, don't you? the answer is you, koo jungmo”

“you are what happened to me. you're the one who brings life to me when I first know you by the name. but love doesn't always end with happiness around its tail. so you also the one who took it back when god no longer favors the idea of you and me, in the same life, in the same universe”

“although i always blame everything that happened, it was a pleasant surprise to know that God had given me a little time, a slight chance to be with you again. even if you don't remember anything, even if it means that we have to restart everything, even if it means i can't have you all the same-”

yunseong paused, he felt tears slowly streaming down his cheeks, his throat sore from all the cries he try to hold back. his voice was nothing but a whisper now.

“i was happy” yunseong's gaze fell at jungmo. he watched jungmo's russet orbs looking back at him with tremendous grief, his lips folded into a thin line, “thank you, koo jungmo. you were, no, you still are my everything”

”.... you're a fool, hwang yunseong. you could've had me forever”

yunseong shook his head lightly, he refuses to let his voice crack, “you know i can't do that, jungmo. not to us, we suffered enough”

a faint cry escapes jungmo's lips as his arms reach out to him, and this time, he doesn't move away. Yunseong embraced him, arms wrapped tightly around his waist as jungmo burrows his face into the nape of yunseong's neck. He can feel the imprint of jungmo's eyelids on his shoulder, the soft pressure of lips pursed on his shirt.

“but i don't want to leave”

_nor do i, jungmo. nor do i._

“I hope it's beautiful over there, love”

_They were crimson veins branching on wrists. They were exhausted sighs from the long commute home. They were the swirl of thunder clapping, clouds rolling, lightning striking._

_And gradually, they started to crumble into ashes._

Yunseong held him close, “come on, blow your candle and make a wish”

and so jungmo did.

yunseong tried to savor everything last from him, and slowly, he disintegrates.

_jungmo smells of white roses, a little bit like home._

**Author's Note:**

> the hwangmogu tag is getting dry so I'm getting this matter to my own hand. I'm sorry this is so short and probably sucks.
> 
> oh, and i was @/mgskluvies on twit but I forgot the pass so I will post here from now on. hit me up on @/bubblewoodz if u want to talk abt hwangmogu, I swear I'm nice :)


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